For those of us who don't do well with "new year" resolutions
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I pray 2019 is full of God's grace, favor, provision, and encouragement for you and your family. I love wishing people Happy New Year. Something about the compliment, in my mind, imbues the thought of starting a fresh and a new; a blank slate if you will. But I know all too well that old habits die VERY VERY hard especially the ones you want to be removed from your life forever. That is one of the reasons why setting a new year resolution was hard for me. I would say to myself the December before the new year, "I will do A, B, and C" only to get to the second or third week in January and be right back in the same place I was the December and November and September before January - Ughhh
For example, look at this image.
Notice the date? And that is not February 2019.
I found a similar calendar on darlingdoodlesdesign.com and created one to use for monthly meal plans (or anything else) and a family to do list (get a free download below). I have had it up for a long time. I had a plan, a new year resolution, to create monthly meal plans for my family. It worked for the first three weeks and then it was time to erase and write another one for March and Life went on, Bomi went on, and the calendar became a framed reminder of what I hoped to accomplish.
However, I have new wind in my sail and so can you :)
Now, let me be the first to tell you I haven't arrived or gotten to the place of expert eureka. BUT I am not where I was and here are some little tweaks in my mindset that helped me - Yes, me, the one who doesn't do well with new year resolutions and hardly used the calendar she created. Yes, yours truly.
You know it's legit when Habakkuk talks to you
Say Haba who? Yes, that book in the bible that you need to find in the table of contents, yep that very one. Most of my revelation came from Chapter 2 verses 2 through 3. And, Y'all, IT WORKS!!! Like I am so for serious, not just for real.
The the Lord said to me,
"write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner
can carry the correct message to others.
This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed
Habakkuk 2:2-3 NLT
I realized during my moment of reflection (and guilt each time I looked at my not so used calendar) that I needed to implement some critical steps to living out my new year's resolutions. Some are easier than others, but it all requires your intention. So here are my two cents.
AHA moments are more important than you think.
I have heard it said, "you can't have a resolution without a revelation". Not sure the original author but WOW and thank you to whoever coined the phrase. It summarizes what I am sharing here.
Change happens when we receive information that enlightens us, that gives us a reason to make a shift. It propels us toward a specific direction, and likely with purpose - Hence the revelation. And once we have an understanding of why we must make adjustments, it leads to a stronger belief or conviction; and then conviction helps us to come to a firm resolve.
REVELATION to CONVICTION to RESOLVE
But how do we get this revelation? Through asking God in prayer. We all have specific assignments that God has for us. He is the author of our lives and knows best. So it is best to ask Him. Habakkuk 2:2 starts with the phrase, "The Lord said to me." Habakkuk received a vision from God after He asked a question in the first Chapter (I encourage you to read it). God answers him and gives him a vision of what He wants to do. My dear friends, prayer is two-way communication, and God truly speaks. So let him provide you with insight or revelation that will fuel your conviction. After all, God ALWAYS funds and supports His plans. He will help you accomplish it. So ask Him. I asked just before the new year, and I felt an impression on my heart of what my resolutions or goals should be - I will share later.
Your TABLET or JOURNAL plays a role.
Okay, I don't have a tablet, but I have my pen and journal, and it works perfectly. Whatever catches your fancy, jot down what your resolutions. I find I remember things better when I write it on paper. There seems to be a connection between my memory brain cells and my hand, and in the biblical text, God asks Habakkuk to do the same - write the vision down. Not only will writing your revealed resolution help for you to remember, but you also see it plainly, and you can develop steps to help achieve your resolution. Another reason God has Habakkuk write down the vision on a tablet is so that others can see and understand it; which takes me to the next key.
The power of ACCOUNTABILITY
I don't like telling people my goals or resolutions. And when I get to the bottom of it, it is because I am afraid. Afraid I will fail and appear a failure to people; or be known as someone who starts things and never completes it; and even worse, fear I will become a joke. But the reality is that fear, for the most part, is based on what we think and not on what we know. And to be held accountable, we need to relinquish any fear and allow the love of God to direct our emotions because love drives out fear - 1 John 4:18. Accountability is not just telling people what you are doing; it is inviting good friends to be your support and to cheer you on a journey to accomplishing something. It is also giving others an opportunity to partner with you by sharing helpful ideas or ways they can help you to achieve your goals. So share your resolution with trusted and prayerful friends, it not only speaks to how intentional you are about your goals or resolutions, it provides the necessary support you may need.
CONSISTENCY is the crux of it all
I don't like the part of this process, :( but it is the most important. It is the discipline to stick with it even when our emotions have checked out. I believe God knew this and this is why it says in verse 3
This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed
I believe God wanted Habakkuk to know that there could be moments that may feel like there is no progress or nothing is happening, but he needed to be patient. It is the same with us, even when we are tired of doing the same things toward our goals or resolutions, we need to be patient and be consistent. I am speaking to the choir here as patience and consistency isn't my things all the time. I always want a quick fix, a microwave experience. I, however, have learned that we learn more about ourselves, and the goodness of God in situations that require patience and consistency.
STICK WITH IT! It pays off!
That's my two cents.
So, here I go being open and transparent with you about my new year resolution.
I am terrible about returning phone calls and talking on the phone. It takes a lot for me to get on the phone to speak with people. Not because I don't love them but only because I prefer FACE to FACE conversations. I will choose a Facetime convo over the phone any day. However, I have offended family and lost friends because of this, and so I felt the Lord impress on my heart to do better this year and for the rest of my life. SO I prayed and asked Him how and the answer was straightforward - Send friends and family a card, text, call or email, particularly on birthdays. And when you think of them give a quick call. So there you have it. You all know now so please hold me accountable. What about you? Remember to pray, write your resolution down, get friends to keep you accountable, and be consistent.
Please share any other ideas you have so we can all learn something new too.
Also, if you would like to have a copy of the calendar I created, you can download it here. Just print and place it in a 16 x 20 frame so you can use as a dry erase. I got mine printed at FedEx office on 16 x20 paper and purchased a frame from Michaels. You can also downgrade the size to 8.5 x 11 too.
Here is to a great 2019 with accomplished resolutions especially for those of us who typically have a hard time with it.
Download the calendar and to-do list here
or learn to make one from darlingdoodlesdesign.com
Merry Christmas and a Peaceful New Year!
Instead of a regular blog, I thought it would feel much more personal to send a video message. I pray it blesses you!
Today, I feel nervous and unsure. Overwhelmed at the thought of how I can carry out the many desires of my heart. I question if I am good enough, skilled enough, smart enough, to do what I think God is asking me to do.
I wonder how much of it are my selfish desires and if they align with God's expectations at all. How do I know I'm in His timing? How do I measure the pace of life according to His will? What should matter, NOW?! Do I qualify? Jesus, how?
And then, I am reminded by a piece of jewelry, my bracelet.
I see the cross, and my heart wells up with hope and comfort at the reality of God's love for me. I can relax in the knowledge of what I have in Jesus; He covers me, He restores me, I can do ALL things through Him. I don't have to strive. I can lean on His grace. I don't have to have it all figured out, He already did. He tells me to seek Him; He tells me what to do, how to do when to do, my response, listen and obey; look and follow.
I am led to read Proverbs 3: 3-6 & 25-26.
My concerns, fears, anxious thoughts, and uncertainties quiet down.
I remember, again, I need to lean on Him, I need to trust Him, and He will guide me. Jesus, you are my confidence, and you will keep me from messing things up.
So, I walk away with my head lifted.
AND. SO. CAN. YOU
Without any notice, my mom tenders her resignation, and announces, in her Nigerian accent, "Y’all, I am not cooking for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner anymore.
Gbo gbo yin ti da gba (you all are grown), I am coming to your house or going to my friends.
My siblings laugh, and say to me, " Oh well...Bomi you are the firstborn!" Smh, I WAS IT!
Hosting comes easy for me, and I enjoy making people feel welcomed and comfortable; I do it all the time, BUT, cooking food?! That is another story. When it comes to cooking, my mom is a rock star! She whips out any dish and adds pizzazz to it - Jollof Rice, Macaroni and Cheese, you name it. She can do just about anything, so I knew I needed the full blast, maximum power of God to pull this off.
Well, I have good news, IT WAS A FANTASTIC THANKSGIVING! The food was excellent, everyone had fun, and I learned a few things I hope will help you with hosting Thanksgiving, especially if it's your first time.
Sometimes we miss the purpose of Thanksgiving, and it’s important to note it’s not just about the food. Thanksgiving is about family and friends coming together and being grateful to God for all He has done. When you have the right perspective, the weight and anxiety you may feel about hosting and cooking will begin to lift; your planning and organization become about creating an environment that is conducive for a conversation that is peaceful and encouraging, a space that will foster thankfulness, cheer, and, of course, getting our bellies full. (Because fun and joy isn't the same without fellowship and food). So you see, the meal is part of the overall plan but is not the ALL plan.
Most families have interesting relational dynamics and holidays, at times, can bring the best or the worse out of these relationships. So if you are anxious about hosting and family interactions, I encourage you to pray. Prayer makes a difference. We ask God for other things, and this is no different. Invite him in by committing your preparations and Thanksgiving day itself to him (Proverbs 16:3). Pray for the right people to sit next to each other, pray for the peace and the presence of God to foster unity and harmony in your family, and pray for yourself as you will be hosting that day. If you need some thoughts, here is a prayer I pray
I thank you for the opportunity to host Thanksgiving in my home. I ask for the wisdom, strength, creativity, and heart to organize and make everyone feel welcome. Bless the preparations and help me to honor everyone. I pray and ask for your peace, your grace, and your love to abide in my home and everyone's heart as we all sit together. I commit everything to you and trust you to guide me
in Jesus Name, Amen.
I give it up to all the people who can throw down, my mom included. But if cooking stresses you out or isn't your forte, there are some fantastic groceries stores and restaurants that offer holiday meals. You can order just the sides or the whole Thanksgiving dinner. For instance, Wholefoods provides holiday meals, and they are delicious. Seriously, it is scrumptious, and the cost, surprisingly, didn't break the bank. (I wasn't paid to say this, just my experience). You decide how much food, and what type - sides or main dish - you want to order. Another option is to have a caterer cook the meal and have it delivered the day before. All you do is warm things up a few minutes before dinner time, serve it on a beautiful platter and voila! If you are looking for a more cost-effective way to go, you can do a bulk share with friends. You find three or four friends that are experts at different dishes. So if you have a friend who cooks a fantastic mac and cheese, and you are known for your finger-licking honey butter roles, you get together, cook your specialty in bulk and split into two portions :) You can do this with multiple friends and have Thanksgiving covered. And of course, potlucks are a sure win!
Bottom line, if you don’t feel comfortable with cooking, there are other ways to get the meal on the table, and it will give you incredible peace of mind. Remember, the overall purpose is to spend time with family and friends, in gratitude.
Decorating your home for Thanksgiving can seem daunting, but there is inspiration available. I often get my ideas from Pinterest. I mix and match ideas, so it works for my budget. You can do the same using what you currently have in your home whether it's fine china, everyday dishes, or even paper plates; The idea is to make it a fun and welcoming environment for your guests. If you want to spruce things up but have a limited budget, the Dollar tree has some incredible treasures. Trust me; you will be amazed! Here are a couple of examples.
Can I share a secret with you? Plate chargers and simple centerpieces on the dinner table often make a grand statement. Save place settings pictures you like on any social media outlets, or from store displays, and make them your own. And don't limit yourself to what you see, customize it, so it functions for your pocket and your family gathering. Again, work with what you have, have fun, get inspiration, and your guests will feel welcomed.
HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN!!! I can't stress this enough. Remember the reason for Thanksgiving, right? Just have fun and roll with it. When you are having fun, your family and friends will have fun. So enjoy every moment, and make beautiful memories.
I hope this helps, if it does, share this other friends who may find this helpful. :) Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
I looked something like the picture above.
I had no idea what else I could do to fix it. I was tired, frustrated, out of bright ideas to help it. Dinner was always late; all the kids wanted my attention at the same time. AND, each time I set my mind to complete a task, looming songs, and eery words would ring,
“Bomi, you still have to fold that pile of laundry on the floor in the laundry room, it’s been a week and a half! You have pending and imminent emails that need your attention. You are not showing much love to your kids; they feel neglected! What?! Face it, you are not that organized and your friends are doing it better than you are.”
And the thoughts went on, and on, and on, highlighting shortcomings as a wife, mom, daughter, friend and everything in between.
I. WAS. DONE.
I felt frustrated, depleted, and almost like a failure? Why was I so TIRED?! And why did it feel so chaotic?
I prayed about this dilemma and felt led to read Psalm 127 and got stuck at verse 2.
In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat -
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
I also observed a little superscript (d) next to the word 'to' and read the footnote which said, "Or eat -/ for while they sleep he provides for." Which means God grants rest or sleep and while we are sleeping and resting, God continues to work to provide for us. God continues to work to meet our needs. BUT, we have to rest or sleep first. WHOA!!!
I read this, and I was convicted but encouraged! I was frustrated because I needed REST. Not in the sense of taking a nap (although that is always good), but rest as in placing my complete trust in God to guide me, to tell me what I need to focus on, to rely entirely on Him to work out things beyond my control. I didn't seek God to ask, "what do you have before me to do at this time, in this juncture of my life? What needs a yes or no? What is the purpose of this season I am in?"
Shaunti Feldhahn put it well in her devotional for women titled, Find Rest. A women’s devotional for lasting peace in a busy life,
“Exhaustion has become the social norm amongst busy women. And let’s admit the hard truth: We often find ourselves glorifying the busy schedules, giving ourselves a pat on the back when we squeeze one more commitment into an already too-packed day and admiring others who seem to handle the juggling act as if they were a professional in a three-ring circus...As we push ourselves beyond what we were designed to bear, we also overlook the physical and emotional signs that we're doing too much. We rush at breakneck speed right into stress that God never intended us to bear. Remember? He gives rest to his loved ones”
Sweet friend, we are made in God's image, and He, too, rested after he created the earth which lets me know rest is a necessity and it does us good not to avoid it?
But how do we rest in a culture that glorifies having a full and color-coded calendar? And subtly praises the lifestyle of busy?
Here are three things that help me find REST even when it feels like life is moving at crazy's pace.
1. Schedule it
I realized very quickly that if I didn't schedule the time to rest it will not happen. To combat the temptation to put off my rest time, I asked family and friends to hold me accountable and asked them to remind me that I can always go back to complete my unfinished projects since I am the type that will not stop unless I finish a task and I can cross it off my to-do list. Something else that may deter us from resting is guilt. There are a few who feel terrible for taking a rest day and think it makes them appear lazy. I understand but here is the reality, when you rest, you are more productive, useful, and even more delightful to those around you :). Furthermore, God wants us to rest so schedule it.
2. Invite Him in
Matthew 11:28-30 says,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
A yoke, as pictured above, is a beam used to pair animals together to help pull a load, to share the weight. It is often crafted to fit the necks of the animals, so it doesn't hurt them. In this same way, God invites us to carry His yoke, a yoke that is easy and is uniquely crafted to Him and us so He can help us take the weight we have. He is inviting us to share the burden of our responsibilities as parents, employees, caretakers, ministers, supervisors, and more with Him so He can help us. In other words, we need to go to Him first. Give him our burdens - our chaos, frustrations, hopelessness, doubts, uncertainties - and allow Him to teach us, and address any areas in our hearts that may need His healing, His comfort, His encouragement, His affirmation. It is then we will be able to hear clearly and sense what it is He wants us to do in the season we find ourselves. And when we come to that knowledge, we will have freedom in saying yes to what aligns with the assignment God gives us and no to what does not.
3. Make the most of it
This one is simple and practical, embrace your hobbies. Enjoy what God has given you to enjoy. On the days I rest, in addition to spending time with the Lord in prayer and reading his word, I try to do things that bring me joy. For instance, I enjoy making stationery or DIY projects. Something about fine paper turned into a beautiful platform of communique gets me giddy inside. So I spend time crafting note cards or designing unique invitations. I find I am rested and more joyful because I entered into a place of creativity that God has placed inside of me. Perhaps yours is writing blogs, or sewing amazing outfits, sending encouraging notes, writing songs, or even cleaning the house (yep, that is a joy for some), whatever it is, enjoy it, embrace it, make the most of it, and allow the Lord to give you peace and rest doing it.
Here is an excellent podcast from Dr. Barbara's Whole Life with guest, Jennifer Dukes Lee on How to get stuff done and still rest in the Lord. You will be encouraged. Wherever you are in life, or whatever is going on, God wants you to rest in Him. He is the author of your life and knows you better than anyone else. It is also in this place of resting in Him that you will find more peace and freedom. May God grant you rest in Him. Do you have other ways you find rest in God? I would love to hear about it, so please share.
I am so glad you are here. First, let me introduce myself, informally, aka, the REAL me. My name is Bomi Roberson, and I am just the quiet girl next door. I love DIY projects (at least most of them), watching Disney movies, and I gravitate to the simple things in life. Next to God and my family, is a sweet liking for stationery. I get giddy shopping at stores like Michaels arts and craft and Paper Source. I often have to go with my game face on so I don't come out with a basket full of items I didn't intend to buy. Above all, is my love for God and my heart for women which is the reason why the blog page is titled, Her Journal.
I desired a space where women, with a cup of tea or coffee in hand, comfy clothes, can stop by to be encouraged and are inspired to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. Through reading the journal (blog), watching videos, listening to messages, or viewing the 'with love Bomi' stationery, my prayer is for you to feel God's embrace and heart toward you. I don't know anyone who doesn't desire to be encouraged or to be inspired to grow in their relationship with Christ. So Her journal is my simple way of sharing what sustains me in hopes it blesses you as well.
So regardless of where you are in life, I pray that you experience the love of God some way through this platform, so you are strengthened in the knowledge of who God has called you to be and be a blessing to others as well.